We've been bid farewell at the IIIT. Can't believe it's getting over.
I must admit that I've not had a great sense of belonging initially. It took me three years to get acquainted with people and begin to feel at home with them and at the IIIT. The final year's been a most wonderful time, I had things to worry about but I also had friends who made me feel special.
Four years just flew by, wish I had all those wonderful times in the final year all through. But, it takes time to strike a chord with people, and inspite of taking the people you are close to for granted, there'll be a lot of things you still won't know about them. I am looking forward to leaving the IIIT as I go in search of new adventures, but I wish I had more time with my friends.
Can't believe I am 21.
I still have the feeling that I finished school very recently and I still feel a need for care and attention.
I am yet to learn to be myself at social gatherings, I just can't help but be stiff and inconvenient, and that means I am always robbing photographs of their charm.
When we went on excursions in school to Rajasthan and Delhi in my last two years, I always felt out of the group. When we checked into the hotels, people would choose their room-mates, and I was the one who was always left out. I stayed with people who weren't the ones I met everyday and called friends. While travelling on trains, in buses I had difficulty joining people in whatever they were doing, playing cards or humming songs.
Every time, I was expecting them to ask me to join them, expecting them to invite me to be in their rooms. Even as I've grown to 21 years, I seem to have the wisdom but I haven't really changed. We went on a batch trip recently, and I saw a repeat of those very events: I felt withdrawn, and unable to talk without hesitation, and was expecting people to ask me to join them. Again, I couldn't really spend as much time as I would have liked with my friends on the trip.
It's time I learnt to stop expecting somebody to help me help myself, and learnt to take the initiative.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Hello there!
It's been a long time since I wrote, pity that my last post actually talked about my writing more often.
I've been occupied with applying to universities and trying to satisfy my final year project guide. In between, I had to deal with the placements.
A sense of achievement can do wonders to your psyche. A sense of worthlessness can prove to be very depressing, as I found out in the placement process. Well, when I don't get into a company it means that I don't fit into that company, and not that I am incompetent is what I'd like to believe (who would want to blame himself, after all!) and what is common wisdom, but when you discover you don't fit into neither Adobe, nor Google, nor Sarnoff, nor Microsoft, nor Yahoo, you can't help but find fault with yourself. (My, they are big names!)
Finally and thankfully (Since that gave me an excuse to be out of the placement process!), I ended up at Infosys SETLabs after they had rejected me initially and advised me to widen my horizons. Well, that took away the little sense of achievement it would have given me had I been accepted without the initial rejection. I wasn't elated at all. (Maybe, also because of the fact that I was prejuduced both by the salaries of the companies that I didn't fit into and the fact that it was Infosys, which well I didn't hold in very high esteem (You might as well notice the past tense.)).
I currently am into programs in human computer interaction at the Indiana University and the University of Nottingham. I guess my next destination will be clear in a couple of months time when I will hear from the other universities.
I've been occupied with applying to universities and trying to satisfy my final year project guide. In between, I had to deal with the placements.
A sense of achievement can do wonders to your psyche. A sense of worthlessness can prove to be very depressing, as I found out in the placement process. Well, when I don't get into a company it means that I don't fit into that company, and not that I am incompetent is what I'd like to believe (who would want to blame himself, after all!) and what is common wisdom, but when you discover you don't fit into neither Adobe, nor Google, nor Sarnoff, nor Microsoft, nor Yahoo, you can't help but find fault with yourself. (My, they are big names!)
Finally and thankfully (Since that gave me an excuse to be out of the placement process!), I ended up at Infosys SETLabs after they had rejected me initially and advised me to widen my horizons. Well, that took away the little sense of achievement it would have given me had I been accepted without the initial rejection. I wasn't elated at all. (Maybe, also because of the fact that I was prejuduced both by the salaries of the companies that I didn't fit into and the fact that it was Infosys, which well I didn't hold in very high esteem (You might as well notice the past tense.)).
I currently am into programs in human computer interaction at the Indiana University and the University of Nottingham. I guess my next destination will be clear in a couple of months time when I will hear from the other universities.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Keep Driving, I will
After receiving complements from my brother for my previous post, it is with a feeling of apprehension that I am writing this post. For I am not really sure if I'll stand up to keep those complements each time I write. Besides, there's the 4.0 I received on the GRE writing assessment that makes me even more apprehensive. But then there's hope that some bright day will be mine, and that precisely is the subject of this post, Hope.
Hope is a beautiful thing. It keeps you going despite any setbacks you might have had. You might have failed to reach your expectations, but there's the hope that you'll do well next time. If not for the hope, we would have given up. You might have had a quarrel with a friend and find it extremely difficult to make the first move, but there's hope that time will set it right.
Of course, hope only works when combined with action. I can't keep hoping that things will happen without my intervention. It is hope that drives us and effort that pulls us through.
There are these beautiful stories about men and women who have endured all setbacks to achieve what they wanted to. They fill you with hope. That explains why I find reading Jack Canfield and Mark Hansen's Chicken soup for the soul such a comfort. While on these stories and my writing, there is this story about R.K.Narayan failing in his English examination at college, and that's provided me succour from my 4.0!
Hope is the rope,
that swings around life,
providing support during failure and strife.
So whatever the circumstance,
never change your stance,
on Hope.
Hope is a beautiful thing. It keeps you going despite any setbacks you might have had. You might have failed to reach your expectations, but there's the hope that you'll do well next time. If not for the hope, we would have given up. You might have had a quarrel with a friend and find it extremely difficult to make the first move, but there's hope that time will set it right.
Of course, hope only works when combined with action. I can't keep hoping that things will happen without my intervention. It is hope that drives us and effort that pulls us through.
There are these beautiful stories about men and women who have endured all setbacks to achieve what they wanted to. They fill you with hope. That explains why I find reading Jack Canfield and Mark Hansen's Chicken soup for the soul such a comfort. While on these stories and my writing, there is this story about R.K.Narayan failing in his English examination at college, and that's provided me succour from my 4.0!
Hope is the rope,
that swings around life,
providing support during failure and strife.
So whatever the circumstance,
never change your stance,
on Hope.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Can I Write ?
Written in May 2005
I've always wanted to write, but haven't tried my hand at it seriously. I started off pompously hoping to finish a book by the time I was 20. I am now 20 years, 33 days old, but my "book" is still at page one. I had an idea in mind, writing about a character who was in many a manner similiar to what I am, my characteristics, feelings and traits. Overwhelmed by the initial enthusiasm, I began and finished the one page. I even edited it. Alas, the enthusiasm didn't last and my dream of being a widely read famous author(how audacious!) by the time I was twenty will remain unfulfilled.
I admire and adore Ruskin Bond and his writing. My desire to write took birth when I read that he won the John Llewelyn prize at the age of 17 for his book, The room on the roof. I thought I was setting myself a modest target, by allowing myself time till I was 20. I was 17 then.
For me, writing was till very recently, a thing done for school work. I only realised very recently that I had to write often if I wanted to communicate well. My intention to write was further encouraged when I saw the movie "Before Sunset", in which the female protagonist talks about the Journal she keeps of everyday events and her desire to write and compose more songs.(I found Julie Delpy wonderful in that role.) Also, when I saw my brother's blog, I liked his writing, and wanted to learn the skill.
I have been nursing a desire to become a film maker, I have been to several screenings at the Hyderabad Movie Club, and realised that if I wanted to make a great film, I needed to write a great screenplay, and the only way to learn to write a screenplay is to start writing some. So that notion extended to writing as well, and here I am trying to write.
It's great fun. To read back on what you've written and have others read your writing. It's always great to speak about your experiences, your beliefs, your ambitions. And its even better if you wrote about them and have the others read them.
I've always wanted to write, but haven't tried my hand at it seriously. I started off pompously hoping to finish a book by the time I was 20. I am now 20 years, 33 days old, but my "book" is still at page one. I had an idea in mind, writing about a character who was in many a manner similiar to what I am, my characteristics, feelings and traits. Overwhelmed by the initial enthusiasm, I began and finished the one page. I even edited it. Alas, the enthusiasm didn't last and my dream of being a widely read famous author(how audacious!) by the time I was twenty will remain unfulfilled.
I admire and adore Ruskin Bond and his writing. My desire to write took birth when I read that he won the John Llewelyn prize at the age of 17 for his book, The room on the roof. I thought I was setting myself a modest target, by allowing myself time till I was 20. I was 17 then.
For me, writing was till very recently, a thing done for school work. I only realised very recently that I had to write often if I wanted to communicate well. My intention to write was further encouraged when I saw the movie "Before Sunset", in which the female protagonist talks about the Journal she keeps of everyday events and her desire to write and compose more songs.(I found Julie Delpy wonderful in that role.) Also, when I saw my brother's blog, I liked his writing, and wanted to learn the skill.
I have been nursing a desire to become a film maker, I have been to several screenings at the Hyderabad Movie Club, and realised that if I wanted to make a great film, I needed to write a great screenplay, and the only way to learn to write a screenplay is to start writing some. So that notion extended to writing as well, and here I am trying to write.
It's great fun. To read back on what you've written and have others read your writing. It's always great to speak about your experiences, your beliefs, your ambitions. And its even better if you wrote about them and have the others read them.
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